8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
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He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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