I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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