If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
