Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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