We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
