Im at strip club and am horny
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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