that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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