RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
