I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
