Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?