Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
