Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Yea well when i pee it makes steam.

Fav 11 2659 1250
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.

Fav 11 2089 1515
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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(843): View more from South Carolina

There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.

(843): View more from South Carolina

I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.

Fav 3 1574 763
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(703): View more from Virginia

I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge

Fav 3 987 715
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck

Fav 16 1087 1594
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(785): View more from Kansas

It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.

Fav 1 667 410
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.

Fav 0 131 109
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