He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
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It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
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I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires