And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.