Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
