No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
