chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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