First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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