sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
