Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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