I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
