they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
