Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
