Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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