I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
