Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
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I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
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also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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