Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
