Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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