Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
