I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
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My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
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I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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