I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
