I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
