Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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