Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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