office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
