ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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