This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
