when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
They took my balls.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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