I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
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i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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