she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
