My Higher Power is John Stamos
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize