Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He felt like a one man threesome
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
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I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
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Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.