Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?