Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.