dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Damn victory sex feels great
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
