I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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