You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
