i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
