I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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