when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He uses pillows to masturbate.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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