I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
