You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
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I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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