Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
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Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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