Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
