So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
well you can't waste a boner
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
