I smell stomach acid.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
do herpes really smell.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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