I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize