Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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