Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
there is glitter all over my balls
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