dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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