I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
