Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
