I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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