Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
