P.S. I can't hear my feet
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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