I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You smell like stripper and shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Randomize