if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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