I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
