i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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