ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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