She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just want to make out with him forever
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
